Permission not to Know

When I first started working with collected images (mostly photos), I had this problem where I'd weed out images that I actually liked. I'd look at materials and think, "Wow. I love this. But it's too pretty/silly/weird/unrelated subject matter to go with the rest of the imagery."

This blog is proof that I've struggled with that-- just look at the tuning musicians photo that I wasn't going to paint.

Fortunately, I've learned that materials don't need to be homogenous to be related, and that if I love something that's probably a sign that I should include it in my projects. I've given myself permission not to know exactly where a project will take me, or how components will work together, or what something means. I try not to stumble blindly into my projects, but leaving my mind open keeps me from prematurely killing a good idea that might pop up.

I try to use this newfound power judiciously. Just because I love a picture of my little sister leaning over a stingray pool doesn't mean it belongs in a painting about, say, personal adornment (though even as I typed that, I thought -- ooh, maybe it does!). One really big challenge right now is trying to remain open-minded even as I do things like write artist statements and work on the BFA show which tend to be narrowing, focusing activities. I feel like every few days I'm asking myself what I want my art to be about, what I want it to look like. It's exhausting and discouraging, but remembering that just about anything can find a place in my work lets me breathe a little easier.

Notes From the Studio

1. Just finished my Marathon project. Not feelin' great about it.

2. Just finished a commission piece for Robin Hood. Now a little part of me will get to travel to Faires everywhere.

3. Realized yesterday that I'm not really sure what I want my work to be about. After writing my artist statement and telling myself over and over what it is my work is saying, I'm not sure I want to say that any more.

4. On Tuesday I got to figure draw for three hours. Three hours! It was such a beautiful experience, especially since we had the most professional, graceful model you could hope for-- and boy, could she hold a pose. And she played me a viking song on her iphone after class! I get called "academic" a lot by my classmates in that class, and it's frustrating, but maybe I am an academic at heart. I like doing things oldfashionedly.

5. It's getting to the wire and I have no idea what work I want to put in the BFA show. I wanted to make something new but I'm just not sure that's possible.

Symposium Success!

I'm going to Stetson!!!
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For the Symposium, not for school. I already go to school.

Still!!

Research Symposium

I just applied to go to an Undergraduate Research Symposium at Stetson. My abstract read thusly:

This poster will showcase the development of a series of paintings based on my research into anachronism through photographs taken at Renaissance Festivals. Initial photographs were taken on-location at two Renaissance Festivals, and focused on performers whose attempts to re-create the world of the past were interrupted by intrusions of the modern. Special attention was given to musicians whose period clothing and instruments were at odds with their microphones and amplifiers. Renaissance and Baroque paintings provided context for the ideas generated by my photography and sketches. Work by artists including Honthorst and Terbrugghen served as inspiration during the creation of compositions. Elements of strangeness in these classical paintings—especially those which related to imagery in my photographs—were of special interest during this research stage. In the studio, photographs were cropped, collaged, painted on, and reflected in mirrors to further confuse the time and space that the subjects of the photos were occupying. This manipulation of images generated new ways of thinking about the paintings and their underlying themes. The resultant body of work combined modern concepts and techniques with highly traditional subject matter in unusual ways. The work related to, but expanded upon, classical paintings from art history, and incorporated unexpected findings from my photography and manipulation sessions. Perhaps most importantly, creating these works also focused and defined my interests as a painter and opened my mind to new forms that my art can take. The concepts and techniques that I developed within this project were incorporated into other bodies of work as well, unifying my work as a whole and also encouraging my development as a painter outside the bounds of this project.

wow wall of text. But I think it's pretty solid. I made it by going to the FAU research poster guidelines and looking at the headings and layouts and whatnot. Then I basically wrote the text for the entire poster and took the best bits and made an abstract. I have to say that, having just given my artist talk in class, this was really easy to write. It's nice to know my work.


IN OTHER NEWS I am making things all day every day except when I stop to go read some one-of-a-kind artists' books which is my JOB which I get PAID FOR. Ohmygoodness why are they making me graduate things will never be this good again.

Lately I have learned that my garment construction skills are getting a lot better and I can make things with a good fit and finish. I also found out I can make paintings by drawing with pastels and pouring acrylic medium over them and that some goat puppets only cost five bucks.

I'm trying to make my life collide. I don't want to be a painter/costumer/student/researcher/viking. I just want to be me. The way I am doing this is by not cleaning my studio. No, seriously! I just let all my projects go at once and if I decide that I need to do a self portrait in a half-finished dress or paint something on a shield I do it. It's exciting.
This is the best time of year.

Motivation follows Action

Hello all,
I don't have pictures today. I don't have much interesting to say.
I'm writing this to break the cycle.
I run on streaks. If I post today, I'll probably post tomorrow. If I wait for something good, I wait indefinitely.
Watch this space.

The past week I've been making instead of posting. I'm learning so much right now that it's damnably difficult to put down a brush even to write blogs or... alas... prepare for other finals.
I'll try to get some photos up soon!

I haven't posted in a while because I've been scared. My painting final sucked and my brain's in a weird place. After my mirrored self-portrait I believed I'd had a breakthrough, now I wonder if it was a fluke. I have lots of ideas knocking around in my head but I feel like I can't make what I need to make and I have a lot of fear and reservation. The last few days have been a downhill slide. I want to get back to the studio, though. I think I know what path I'm on, I'm just having such trouble pulling things together.