Monday, March 26, 2012


I've been altering this piece some, and it's getting better.
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Research Forever!

I just got accepted to FAU's research conference!
Poster time ahoy!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Making Work

Recently, I made a painting that I actually like. This hasn't happened in a while, so I was pretty excited.

The trouble is, I'm not sure this painting is about the stuff I want my work to be about. Actually, right now, I'm really not sure what I want my work to be about at all.

Most of the things I've made and liked lately have had little to do with my authenticity/anachronism ideas, but I still think that's what I want my work to be about. I have all these other ideas kicking around in my head, but I can't commit to them, because they feel like plan b. The only thing I feel certain about right now is figure painting. I can commit--at least right now--to the idea of being a figurative artist. Drawing, too, is something that feels right, and the combination of drawing and painting in my last work was pretty energizing.

Is it time to take a step back from concept and focus on form and process? That's what I did with my marathon project and it was refreshing but not totally satisfying.

I know I need to make work, but I don't know what kind of work I need to make.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Debriefing the Undergraduate Research Conference

Over the past week, I've been processing my experience at the Florida Undergraduate Research Conference, and I've come to a few conclusions. Number one is that I'm glad I went. I think it was good practice to present myself as a professional and dedicated researcher, and I did pretty well holding my own in discussion. I also relish the opportunity to talk with colleagues about matters they're heavily invested in. I think that kind of passion is contagious across disciplines.

In addition, I learned a lot about how this kind of conference works, and how participants in other disciplines present their work. I'm hoping to apply this knowledge to FAU's upcoming research symposium, and perhaps retool my poster so it's more in line with traditional templates.

This has been a week of great conversations with people in and out of my discipline and concentration. In this last semester of college, I find my perspectives shifting regarding my relationship to other people on campus. Lines are beginning to blur, and classmates and professors are all becoming simply colleagues. I hope that's not terribly presumptuous of me. I just mean that I'm working together with all kinds of folks in all kinds of meaningful ways.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Today I am at the Florida undergraduate research conference presenting my poster, which I believe is the only visual arts poster here and looks very different than Irs peers. I am pretty uncomfortable! I guess I can always pretend I'm doing a performance piece about art and academica...

Saturday, March 10, 2012


I'm so frustrated with Spring Break being basically over and the Research conference hot on my trail same weekend Surfing Florida opens and it's almost time to get my BFA show pieces approved and why haven't I made anything good lately and am I really a painter or should I run away.

happy birthday!

Friday, March 9, 2012

BFA Show Prep

Yesterday was a highly unsatisfying studio day. Eight hours with not much to show for it, but I will chalk that up to my tendency to do fairly in-depth preliminary work, and the humidity making my gesso dry really slow. Just because I don't put paint down doesn't mean I didn't have a productive day I suppose. Today should finally be a painting day.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Permission not to Know

When I first started working with collected images (mostly photos), I had this problem where I'd weed out images that I actually liked. I'd look at materials and think, "Wow. I love this. But it's too pretty/silly/weird/unrelated subject matter to go with the rest of the imagery."

This blog is proof that I've struggled with that-- just look at the tuning musicians photo that I wasn't going to paint.

Fortunately, I've learned that materials don't need to be homogenous to be related, and that if I love something that's probably a sign that I should include it in my projects. I've given myself permission not to know exactly where a project will take me, or how components will work together, or what something means. I try not to stumble blindly into my projects, but leaving my mind open keeps me from prematurely killing a good idea that might pop up.

I try to use this newfound power judiciously. Just because I love a picture of my little sister leaning over a stingray pool doesn't mean it belongs in a painting about, say, personal adornment (though even as I typed that, I thought -- ooh, maybe it does!). One really big challenge right now is trying to remain open-minded even as I do things like write artist statements and work on the BFA show which tend to be narrowing, focusing activities. I feel like every few days I'm asking myself what I want my art to be about, what I want it to look like. It's exhausting and discouraging, but remembering that just about anything can find a place in my work lets me breathe a little easier.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Notes From the Studio

1. Just finished my Marathon project. Not feelin' great about it.

2. Just finished a commission piece for Robin Hood. Now a little part of me will get to travel to Faires everywhere.

3. Realized yesterday that I'm not really sure what I want my work to be about. After writing my artist statement and telling myself over and over what it is my work is saying, I'm not sure I want to say that any more.

4. On Tuesday I got to figure draw for three hours. Three hours! It was such a beautiful experience, especially since we had the most professional, graceful model you could hope for-- and boy, could she hold a pose. And she played me a viking song on her iphone after class! I get called "academic" a lot by my classmates in that class, and it's frustrating, but maybe I am an academic at heart. I like doing things oldfashionedly.

5. It's getting to the wire and I have no idea what work I want to put in the BFA show. I wanted to make something new but I'm just not sure that's possible.